`[Verse of 27th October.]
O you who hear prayer, to You all flesh will come. -Psalm 65:2

returned from meet the parents and lunch. when i saw my results i felt like a piece of junk. even isabelle got promoted. but me?.. ah.. dont even want to think about it...

when dad saw my results his mood totally changed. his mood turned nasty, and when my mom asked him a harmless question he snapped at her. i got quite mad. my mom wasnt doing anything anw. he decided to plan our lives over lunch. he asked us to write down our plans, but he ended up depriving us of even the choice to hang out with friends. i was like.. hais. after asking us a question he would answer it himself. i felt like yelling at him and storming out. he kept rubbing it in, and making it sound as if we didnt know how to manage our lives. everything needed to be perfect. when he asked us what we wanted to eat, i nearly yelled at him, saying since he was in the midst of planning out our lives why not plan what we eat too. he even had issues on how we eat. i was so mad then. but when i looked up i saw a picture of the chinese word "ren" on a wall at the restaurant we were at.

i duno what to do now. i'm so scared. all of my best friends are going up except me. i cant believe it. i didnt want to leave them alone. i didnt want to be left alone. other than aaron i wouldnt know anyone. i cant imagine how lonely i'd get. i cant imagine how scared of losing my friends i'd get. no one knows how i feel about this right now.. i just... ah.. forget it.. i dont want to think about it anymore.

God hears more than our words, He listens to our hearts.